‘I just think you should consider it,’ I pleaded calmly. ‘Is that too much to ask?’
‘Jacob, we’re not putting a hot tub in our bathroom.’
‘Why not?’ I asked, almost falling to my knees. ‘How is that not an incredible idea?’
‘For starters,’ my wife Leah frowned, ‘we don’t have room.’
‘We would if we got rid of the bath!’
‘Why would we… the answer is no,’ she shook her head. ‘Why do you want it inside, anyway?’
‘I hate hot tubs that are outdoors,’ I sighed. ‘Always have.’
‘Jacob, that’s literally all hot tubs,’ she frowned again. ‘I think you don’t like hot tubs at all.’
‘No, no, I love being in them, I just hate having to get in them. It’s always so cold, and once you get out it’s even colder—’
‘So that’s why you want to do some extensive bathroom renovations? Melbourne weather?’
‘No,’ I huffed. ‘It’s because it’s a good idea! Everyone likes hot tubs!’
She slowly lifted her shoulder into a shrug. My eyes widened.
‘You…’ I stammered. ‘You don’t?’
‘Not really,’ she shook her head. ‘I understand the appeal, but… not for me.’
‘But you have baths!’ I protested.
‘Correct,’ she nodded. ‘Better in every way.’
‘What? Name one reason baths are better.’
‘Uh, easy,’ she screwed her face up like it was a stupid question. ‘Fresh water?’
‘That’s a good point actually,’ I frowned. ‘Hot tubs are disgusting. But still!’
‘Look,’ she sighed. ‘If you want to get a hot tub for the backyard, that’s fine. But we’re not doing a professional bathroom installation so you can have an anti-social bubble bath whenever you want.’
‘You never let me have my dreams,’ I blinked away tears. ‘Never!’
‘Nice try,’ she rolled her eyes and walked out of the room. ‘But it’s still a no.’
‘Damn,’ I swore, wiping the tears away. ‘I thought for sure that would work.’