New Flower Craze!

Man, that new dance craze is the business. You know, the one from that popular girl on the Tink Clocks app. No idea why the whole thing is empty and the whole thing is just weird, but it’s a fun dance. I think they’re calling it ‘The Slapper’, at least from what I saw online. It’s pretty weird, but fun. You just kind of seize up your leg like you have a cramp, hold out the other arm and just sort of…y’know, it’s difficult to explain, but it works for most modern songs.

Anyway, flowers. They’re cool. I like to keep in touch with the greatest up and coming trends online, and I think flowers will soon be coming in, big time. It all began when that actress posted a picture of her daffodil bulbs on her Blue-Bird account. Man, those celebrities and their mundane tweeter-sphere! But people went nuts. That was only last night, and I’ve already seen people being copycats and putting stuff up online about their flower collection. That actress, what was her name…Sandra Pollock. She was trying to do this thing where she took pictures of her flower pot every day to see the daffodils growing, and then eventually they’d grow into a full plant or whatever.

Like I said, celebrities and their digs are just bizarre, man. But then people started doing just that, and then the parodies came, where people have supposedly grown hyacinth bulbs overnight by reading them Chunk Morris quotes. As if that meme wasn’t already dead…and so on, some creative, some not so much. But now everyone is posting flower photos, flower selfies, some guy even made the comprehensive celebrity flower chart that says what they should be growing according to the characters they’ve played. The internet is a weird place, sure, but it’s also the best show on Earth. Who needs cable when you have some crazy guy saying that he can match up a celebrity with their perfect hyacinth bulb? Wild, I tell ya.

Categorized as garden