Well-Laid Plans

‘Honey?’ I called out from the dining room table, frowning at an envelope I’d just cracked open.

         ‘A-yup?’ my husband Jared sauntered in from the kitchen, the beginnings of a pasta sauce splattered on the front of his apron.

         ‘What are these?’ I gestured at the blueprints that had spilled out of the envelope.

         ‘Uh,’ he frowned, wiping his hands and moving in for a closer look. ‘Blueprints?’

         His face lit up with realisation and he sat down next to me, grinning.

         ‘We got the plans for the house?!’

         ‘Yeah, but—’

         ‘That’s so cool!’ he clapped his hands together like a schoolboy.

         ‘These aren’t what we discussed,’ I frowned, pointing at the top page.

         ‘Oh, don’t you like the changes I made?’

         ‘The changes?’ I sat in stunned disbelief. ‘What changes?!’

         ‘I didn’t think you’d mind,’ he said, confused. ‘I mean, why hire the best custom home designer on the Mornington Peninsula if you aren’t gonna use them, y’know?’

         Why is there a slide from our bedroom to the pool?!’

         ‘Babe,’ he shook his head sadly, ‘don’t ask questions with obvious answers. It’s unbecoming.’

         I glanced around the table for something heavy but, unfortunately for my lawyer, nothing was within reach.

         ‘Don’t stress,’ he said, off my look. ‘I’ve already chatted to one of those amazing building companies around the Mornington Peninsula, they definitely think it can be done.’

         ‘I can’t believe you would do this to me,’ I seethed, rocketing up from my chair.

         ‘Do this to you?’ he asked, still sitting with a confused look on his face. ‘I did this for you!’

         ‘What?’

         ‘You always asked for a slide out of our bedroom window!’

         ‘No I didn’t!’

         ‘Oh?’ he frowned. ‘That might have been a dream then. Or my brother…’

         ‘And what about the extension on the side,’ I demanded.

         ‘That’s for your art studio!’

         ‘Why does it have “Jared’s Man Cave” scrawled on it in marker?’

         ‘That…’ he floundered. ‘That was to keep it a surprise?’

         My hand found something heavy after all.